Thursday, October 26, 2006!

green is sooo in okkay!

matt and erin. alamak why our hands gesture so "orang tua-ish" tu eron??

matt. ramen. yayoiii. joegi sayang. wei best weii raya!

the morning of 1st syawal. it was so not bermakna for me and jaih; we missed the prayer, and all we did was counted bree-van-de-kamp wannabes. damn!

a family photo. malaysian hall. sydney.

an even more complete family photo in sydney. people i spend most of my time here with. missing; anept, nik, budin. one happy family. enough said.

favourite people. favourite day. and the favourite colour for my baju melayu! apaa daaa..syahmi dgn jams tiru siottttt!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


Today is 1st Syawal, so in spite of being normal, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

it's like whoaaa, i still remembered my first raya in sydney last year, and now, a year has flown, and i still have all those vivid images of raya2005. that was one of the day when i was so happy, so contented, and so loving life. and the night before raya, my zetland companions and i spend almost the whole night playing bunga api, main gitar, main pool and just talk about lots and lots of stuff. true, as what ayu said, it's not where we are, it's the company we are in that matters.

but yea, that was last year. this year...things was a bit different, but i'm still overhelming due to the fact that i'm now in the joyous month of syawal. last night, i was at the alpha house. we had our last berbuka at nando's ramai2 before that. kenyang nak mampos ok! tp bile sampi alpha je, it's like almost all of us rase mcm pelik, coz we're practically not doing anything cultural/anything raya-oriented activities. i heard the melb ppl buat open hse perth pon they masak-masak ramai-ramai. gile mcm meriah. tp smalam kitorg mcm x buat ape2, and rase sedeh la plak sbb malam raya rase wasted....

but then, yeah we all in sydney dah week 13, and assignments banyak nak mampos cam siput. or macam lipas in my house. grrrr... so there's nothing much we can organise pon.

we later left for yani's apartment, and then, zaaaap, things turned out quite best jgak. we just lepak2 there, komplen2, cerita2, rokok2, sama2 do assignments and all that...and when subuh dah masuk, i realised...holy crap! i actually had an enjoyable raya night! cuma i didn't realise it je.... so yeah, huge thanks to rahman, anept, yani and jaih for making my malam raya a night to remember!

and later on the morning of syawal... jaih, yani and i left for msian semayang raya. but wth, we missed it..and end up sempat dgr khutbah only. but that was ok to me (heh!), at least, i'm living up to the raya spirit. ok tu, tahan taxi pagi2 and rush pegi hall and dapat salam ramai orang and dapat makan nasi lemak and nasi impit kuah kacang. fuuuhhh.....raya, it's always the best day for any given year.

but now, back to assignments, and i have a 20%-worth presentation tomorrow. i didn't really do a lot of technical calculations or research aspects for this engineering design group project, so my groupmates were hoping i can do the presenting job only. hope i'll be able to convince the audience about how cost-effective and fast our designed car is. so i need the sleep, try to relax my tongue and sharpen my confidence level. and on top of that, i need to choose a proper and (attractive haha) outfit hahahahhaa!

ok laayytahhh...
i post some raya pictures soon ok!

Sunday, October 22, 2006


raya is less than 40 hours away. and i'm 6000 km from home. i'm homesick. and sad. sangat sedih.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

i just had a crazy and fun-filled (but embarassing here and there) night outtttt. so that's it, it was good. but as usual, i felt overwhelmed and happy, but at some inevitable occasional moments, i knew i shudn't have done this and shudn't have done that blablabla and i was supposed to make things turn out better blablabla. hate to say this, but yes, i do live in regretssss. and i don't mind doing that. maybe i do.


last night was the 21st night in ramadhan. we're already in the last 10 nights, and let's make the best out of it. and if you were to accelerate your calendar page, well, i'm also saying raya is in 9 days!


i am not sure about this. but sometimes, it often helps a lot if you can relate all your misery or problems (due to excessive hormonal tribute) to scientific facts. there is a man of science. there is a man of faith. there is a man of both. let's be the third man. as for me, when i look into the faith element, i felt alright (things aren't that bad). and when i look into the scientific element, i understood. i guess i am the man of the third kind.

what ever happened, by the strokes.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

menahan kencing blergh

i'm writing this post while struggling to hold my bladder from bursting. it's so full now, but me being me, malas nak pegi buang air and i still feel that i shud write an entry first. that's what happens to me, i'll normally hold my urine for far tooooooooo long and bile dah sesak, i'll pancut anywhere i want haha, by the road, next to the sighboard anywhere lah! at least, i'm leaving behind some of my essence sambil jalan-jalan haha! and sure jaih and anept can imagine aku tgh tersentak2sentak and terkinja-kinja menahan..... (?????? fcuk why do i even bother to write this...???)

anyway, yesterday i had my last SUAMS meeting, the handover meeting. it was blablabla malas nak crite, but the best part was where sofiah and i talked like some 2 noble ex-directors to our proteges, hui lyn and joanna hahaha! we were so wise, so calculative and they must have looked at us impressively ngeh3. anyway, it seems like only yesterday when bee ling and hanis talked to us and give some introductions in being the cultural directors for the year 2005/06, and now we are already passing the baton to the 2006/07 generations. wow, time does flyyyyyyyy!!

and i had a lab report discussion with samson, a friend of mine. cheit teringat la plak lagu kenangan terindah by samson. anyway, we only progressed a lot when kazar arrived later. shows how stupid and 'kami-tak-tahu' i am and that samson guy. but after a while we ended up talking about this islamic-christianity thing. we weren't debating, but we were just asking questions and giving out pov(s). i guess i like talking about such issue, i even enjoyed talking to jaja, rahman's friend bout this issue around last month. honestly, i want to be a muslim not because i was born muslim, or simply because my parents are muslim. i choose this path, because i want to, and i did went through a lot of thinking, and reading and researching and questioning and doubts too (sometimes) and all that. but now, i possess this one thing; it's muhammad and his ultimate faith. my faith is pure and it's ultimate i hope. hence ultimatum 86 hehehehe (poyour). thus, i hope all my friend out there, do your part as a muslim. read books about islam, so that when ppl inquire you about the religion, you won't go "aaaa...errr...gagaggaaa...errr..makan-lalat-la-jom" (like what happened to me before). and make sure, we jadi muslim because we memang nak jadi muslim, not just because "oh i islam sbb my parents islam" or just because "i melayu, so logic nye, kene islam la kan?". those perceptions are wrong. and trust me, Allah will ask you about that later, in the hereafter.

ok now i'm waiting for nik's call (hopefully sempat g buang air dulu heh!) coz he might pick me up for MSO's cultural night. hope it will be a blast. i had always liked cultural night. in fact, it was the first event i handled in sydney, last year. weeeeheeeeeeee!!

ok signing out.....and i gotta rush to the toileeeeeeeettt. damn i like this. it gives me the adrenaline rush! tapi nanti kene batu karang lak hahaha. ok dah dah go!

Monday, October 09, 2006

eye contact.

ok eye contact is important, and who wants to deny that, you might as well go and cut your own throat. it shows your confidence level, how sharp you are, your bravery, and the kind of circumstances or situations that has build you, and the ups and downs that you have went through. while presenting ideas to a board meeting, or during interviews, or even in routine talking. eye contact, they just give you the "zhhoooosshh" that you need. or at least, that's what i believe in.

but sometimes, as i had recently discovered, it is best not to do any eye contact. in some situations (rare but it does happen), eye contacts only shows how vulnerable you are, you and your stupid insecurities, how desperate you are, and amazingly, how dumb and lost can you be. afetrall, our eye doesn't lie. it is pure. and true.

when a teacher asks you something that you don't quite know, the more eye contact you made with that teacher, the more he/she knows that you didn't do your homework. that has happened to me before.

or when i'm mad at some of my friend, eye contact is the last thing i wanna do, as it only reveals the flame i have inside. and i'll end up saying "uh-uh" or "takpe aku tak kisah" and i pretended to analyse the walls, the rocking chair or even the ice cream lady. should i look into that person's eye, my anger is no longer a secret, and things would turn out sooo awkward. and in some "remeh" matters, it's best not to reveal your anger (although you can't help but feel angry). it only tells how weak you are.

or, when you're so deeply into someone, but things are just not there yet, it's best not to do eye contact also. hahaha, at least that's what i hold on to. fine, it's ok to express or let go or tell. but sometimes, when situation doesn't permit, it's better for this world if you just keep how you feel inside. because when you look into someone's eye (this is a different kind of eye contact i think, it's just much deeper), you can't help but show ALL that you have inside to the other person. from your eyes, yes, people will know. how lonely/loving/caring/wanting/sad/happy you are. and again, i always think the eyes never lie.

so, the conclusion? i don't know what conclusion can i make myself. well, as other way aspects of life also, do it if it benefits you. or don't if only harms you.

adios amigos!

Friday, October 06, 2006


well this was when my little brother, ismail, first discovered how to self-potrait himself using a camera. and now, he is so excited for pre-school, that he even wakes my mum on saturdays and sundays asking "i wanna go to skool!" hahaha.

as for me, i even skip uni on weekdays hahahahaaa!


well this is just some really "i-don't-know-for-what" quotes that i found in this one really cool vid clips, and i thought of putting it here in my blog.

"after a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand and falling in love. you begin to learn that kisses don't always mean something, and promises can be broken as quickly as they are made. and sometimes, goodbyes really are forever"

but really, i don't know how can i relate myself to this wordings, but they sound so nice and so in place and i'm sure i'll find it useful someday ;)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

today is wednesday!

today is wednesday.

today i woke up at 2.45 pm. thanks to nana's addiction to laughing ;)

today i was a bit warmer to the person i usually wasn't. hmm, an improvement there.

today i was at the library, reading materials for 10 minutes and sleeping the remaining 45 minutes hmmmppfffffff......

today i was reminded of the series of events i had last summer, and i thought that i need a serious reality check.

today i grabbed another 4 brochures about europe.

today joe said he was robbed by the abo, and i grew really worried, only to discover later that he was just joking around. nanti ko kene pow btol2 mmg aku gelak sial joe brrrrrrrrr....

today i was able to do a proper groceries for the first time after 2 months.

today i managed to swap in for another new headphones. cool huh. new listening device every 2 months hahaha!

and today, i have been listening to alicia keys' and adam levine's wild horses only.

dewi and i. i don't know where is this.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

spring break (continued...)

ok this is weird. i've been writing 3 entries about my spring break backwards!

anyway, we did some other stuff too. we went to max brenner, and oh i must say it's just baaddaabboooomm! gile sedap nak mampos whoaa! and because of the irresistable belgian waffle, i even put belgium into my european destinations list haha (poyour gile wei..but it's called dreams ok haha)..

and there were good times when we just hung out at alpha house, and mess up everything, and talk about almost everything that came accross. and we spent almost satu pertiga malam at hyde park and circular quay and bla bla. well to be honest, i wasn't with the "group" that much, as sometimes i was busy with some other stuff and all. but seriously, this is just a spring break to remember. ok dah jgn exxagerate dah.

but most of all, i wanna thank yamud and mun. for that talk we had that night in kingsford. it really helps to know that there is someone who actually understands and for once, i felt lighter. and also now i pretty much know where my guard stands. hopefully our EURO TRIP turns reality bros!

and then dirah, thanx again for everything. oh you know what i mean. rough night doesn't happen always, but when it happens, it sucks kan? but seriously, i'm just glad you came to study here in sydney.

and to all other friends who has been around me during the break, thanks! true, good times don't last forever. but the memory does. and as long as we hold on to it, that's good enough.

more spring break pictures

ok more of my spring break pictures!

[yani.dewi.syami.jaih.matt.erin.eby] how can we not love the sun??!!

in the water! we were playing baling2 pasir until so many ppl got scars. gile ah sakit sial!

the baywatch crew. mohaz, you need to get a dumbell hahahaa!

burying the alive yus!

erin and eby. the "beach day to remember huh" ?

then we busked at coogee! we ended up singing the chorus only! hahaaa....

even small kid thought that we were good. it's called hard work kid...hard work...ppfftttt...

...and the old ones too. and we're malaysian! not filipinos!

and the day ended with gelatissimo. but of course, all i did was pow ppl's ice cream. damn!

back to business!

it's 1.21 am at the it's tuesday now. and it scares the shit outta me. spring break ends uni starts again! i bet everyone else has been whining and complaining and bla bla bla about how boring it is to start uni back sigh. as for me, sometimes i just couldn't stand the pressure and those many depressing moments when i had to endured long hours of non-stop reading, and trying to understand new things, and finishing assignments. seriously, it is sooo tiring. and now dah bulan pose plak. holy cow i really need some motivation to start the semester again! and the worst part, i haven't been doing anything uni-related for the past 10 days!

ok just for the sake of offering more aids to my memory in remembering thruout the spring break, this is just a brief recap of what my friends and i did during spring break!

well, we started off with the umno bbq. i must say, this is the happiest day in the month of september, and i don't say such things often ok! i was just overwhelmed, and shit...mithril!! mithril!!

anwar and i. waiting for faisal masa awal pagi lagi (cheitt xde lah pagi sgt pon) before the bbq starts.

masak-masak semasa bbq. ok the wearing next to me tu is not part of us ok. die tuh nyibuk je.

when we later decided to hit the beach. [matt.dewi.rahman.yaya.part of yani]

matt.yamud.joe. the pose of the day!

my fav people at coogee beach. gile ah we really had fun man!

and finally, my favourite pic of the day! [ryan.summer.seth.marissa. heh!]