Thursday, August 30, 2007

I Have A Question!!

So far, mostly out of everything, I wanna be a good person. Or probably a nice guy with renowned hint of integrity. I once heard this somewhere; "Life is short, so try to have fun. But most importantly, be good to others". Now, I heard that inside my head all the time.

But how do you characterize yourself as being "good" or "nice"? And how good is good, or how nice is nice or how kind is kind etc.

I know all these sound so irrelevant, and it only shows the huge lopsided blunders I possess within my skull. But still....

So I lived my life the way I think I'm supposed to, in order to be good to others, and in the same time, having myself indulged in some fun stuff;

I told myself to constantly look at the good side of people (although it's a struggle sometimes).

I told myself to always lend a helping hand.

I told myself if it's okay with me for that particular moment, give way to others, and let them have things their way. There's no use with always wanting things your way because that eventually will turn me into one selfish bastard.

I told myself to run the extra miles for other people, with the condition; if it doesn't intervene with matters that are really important to me.

I told myself to lower down my ego, and try to professionally cater their ego, as fire meets fire is just not my way.

I told myself to say my sorries if I ever offend them, no matter how small, up to a point my sorries are just another pragmatic, means-nothing form of speech.

I told myself all these when I was 15 or so, because at that time, I perceived all these doings as "Me being a good person".

And now, it sort of has became a set of traits and habits that I tend to carry around wherever I go.

I'm not saying that I'm a saint, or I'm some sort of a holy creation of God and all I do is pour your sour farms with water so that they grow fruits. But I want to actually make a point here.

There were many times when some people, who I perceived as being disrespectful to me (and mind you, I give you my respect all that I can, and in turn I deserve yours), or treat me as if I'm a harmless joke and always feeling vulnerable, or thinking you can order me around just because I don't know how to even raise my voice (or you think I don't have the guts too), or probably called me at odd hours just to make me feel as if I'm useless and irresponsible, or even channel all their anger towards me because you take me for granted, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY;

You had better keep all your act together, or else you will unleash demons within me that you do not wanna meet. Need I remind all these people that I am actually doing you a FAVOUR?? Need I remind you, that I look at you as a friend, hence I give you all the controlling powers JUST to assist you in completing your tasks? If you want perfection from me, then show me your perfect sides first! Impossible, right? We are all flawed, have limited time and have our own agenda so the least you can do is not to give public display of your unorganized minds, and try to note the line that draws the separation of you being in public, or you being in your own bathroom!

I can do things that will make your head spin, in fact I know how to manipulate it so that the damages are tripled! I just don't feel like doing it, as all these people are my friend, but if you ever cross the line again, and treat me as if I'm not your equal, so help me, I will do it.

And this includes everything that has happened throughout my whole life here in Sydney. Probably you can at least learn how to say "Thank You!".

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Trust Me, You Are Not That Real...


You said you were real,
But you walked around with your nails painted in black,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you were disgusted by the outdated fabrics of my clothes,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you applied make ups to obscure the flaws of your skin,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you whined about that pores and zits on your face,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you cheated in the exams and earned a false mark,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you put on your cap to hide the truth of your unruly hair,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you judged others after a quick 5-minutes encounter,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you contemplated on the colour of your irises every time you looked into the mirror,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you hung meaningless pictures on the wall to cover the stain behind it,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you flashed your artificial smiles to the world,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you told others only what they want to hear,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you didn't speak of the truth because you were afraid,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you pointed fingers to cover your fallacies,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you stuffed all your leftovers in the spare luggages,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you talked about others thinking they wouldn't hear you,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you locked your storeroom to conceal the mayhem within,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


You said you were real,
But you lived in denial,
So tell me again,
What is so real about you?


For the last time,
You said you were real,
But you are now involved the in the world's worst deception,
And that makes you,
The most unreal of all kinds...


Trust me, you're not that real...

thank you!

















Friday, August 17, 2007

Extra Peppermint!

Characters:
Mr Hasnol: Maybank Assistant Vice President, who happens to be nice, and all he does was produced an extra-annoying adult's smile and stared at my set of certs as if they say I have just landed from Venus

Michael: The Vice President himself, who blabbered endlessly to me about Maybank's diverse business entities up to a point where he should be fed with half a dozen of sleeping pills.

Muhammad: An insecured UG student who would do anything to just get a placement for an internship, who also happens to be really sleepy during the interview time due to his nocturnal habits.


Time and Location:
8.30 am @ Willara Room, Grace Hotel, York Street, Sydney.

Agenda:
Maybank Group Graduates Interview.

Mr Hasnol & Michael: Good morning, please have a seat (holding out their hands to shake mine)
Muhammad : Good morning. Thank you (thrusting my firm handshake to them, while helping myself with the seat).

Mr Hasnol: So, you are Muhammad?
Muhammad: Oh yes I am...Nice meeting the both of you. (taklah, Muhammad tu nama moyang aku. Thts why it is on every piece of my cert! DUH! Even my tie pin says "Muhammad" )

Mr Hasnol: We can see that you have a relatively strong academic results, except for the part where you failed one recently....(dashed his smile, which at this point, i can still bear to look at).
Muhammad: Oh thank you for that. Errrr....yeah thanks!

Mr Hasnol: So I can see that you're very active outside uni. You have 3 positions as the Director of Liaisons! So tell, why did you join all these?
Muhammad: Oh sure, my primary reasons of being active is blablablabla.... (at this point, my perasan mode has been truly activated, and I found myself enjoying the interview whilst being completely generous to myself with compliments....*macam bagus*)
...
...
...
...
...
Michael: So Muhammad, in what ways can you contribute to Maybank
Muhammad: (I seriously forgot what I said, as I truly couldn't care less about that, but I flashed my self-made confident smile and explained non-stop, sounding fully motivated, fully interested, which happened not to be the mood I was in, but who cares)
...
...
...
...
...
Mr Hasnol: And please tell us any events in the past where you have displayed excellent leadership skills (dashed his creepy adult smile for probably the 14th time, and oh God, i felt nauseous at this point of moment)
Muhammad: (Jawapan rahsia...but of course aku goreng sampai hangus, as if everything that I did was at the liberty of being a leader...haih...)
...
...
...
...
...
(after 20 minutes of talking with me, and I was apparently was enjoying my fake mode)

Michael: So why don't you ask us some good questions about Maybank?
Muhammad: Oh yes...I'm very keen to know, how can an engineer contribute to a financial institution like Maybank? (to be honest, my dad has told me this a gazillion times, and i don't need another human to explain it to me...but whutteheck!)
Michael: You'll be surprised...an engineers critical and analytical mind is something that we look for in Investment Banking these days blablablablabla....(the next 15 minutes was about Maybank's diverse financial entities and how they hire graduates from various fields to cater for the ever demanding tasks....yadayadayada...exactly what I had heard from my father all these while...and this point of time...I just wanna go out of the room and shoot someone! God I'm so sleeepy!)
...
...
...
...
...
Mr Hasnol: I guess that's all for I know. We are very interested with your profile, and we'll keep it in our database. We'll definitely call you this time next year to check up on you to work with us.
Muhammad: Sure, sure, thanks for that! I'm very excited to hear from your company soon! (I lied. I lied. I lied)
Michael: Just make sure you don't fail anymore ok! HAHAHAHAHA!
Muhammad: yeah I won't HAHAHAHAHA (joining the laughs to make me appear calm and cool and collected...haih)

After saying thank you, and exchanging hand shakes, I left the Willara room with a set of Maybank goodies in my hands, thinking; what on earth was I doing at a Maybank Interview???!!! And I thought they were gonna interview me for some internship program, and why is it suddenly they plan to contact me for a graduate program instead? *garu kepala sikit*

And I walked back home.

All in all, the experience was amazing, but kinda awkward at times as i was sooo sleepy and wasn't in the mood to entertain their comments (my bad, should have gotten enough sleep) and I just wasn't into the adult creepy laugh of Mr Hasnol's.

I'll just use this experience, and other Graduan Interview experience as a way to familiarise myself with all these interviews stuff with any Australian company soon.. And hopefully I'll get an internship in Sydney. Amiiinn!!



Monday, August 13, 2007

[Title Here]


Spot the shorty, please, please. I said twice.


My friend Sheera has tagged me in her blog, asking me to write 8 random things about myself. Mind you, as random as this could be, this is 8 random things about myself:

1. I like the colour red, as it goes well with me. But I also look absolutely, incredibly stunning in blue, green and black. Don't deny that! You, yes you!

2. Everyday before class, I will stop at the nearby 7-11 to grab a pice of chocolate doughnut that cost me AUD1.50. Well, now at least I know where that AUD40 seems to be missing every month!

3. I like coloured undies. they give me some sort of confidence that I quite can't explain. Now I hope you know what to get me for my next birthday.

4. I tend to procrastinate my laundry. It went on and on, up to a point where I literally have nothing clean to wear!

5. Having my housemates; Kazar, Joe and Yus is one of the best things about Sydney.

6. I need a job right now! As in RIGHT NOW!

7. I listen to "Won't Go home Without You" by Maroon 5 almost everyday these days.

8. My design assignment is due tomorrow on 9am, and yet, here I am writing 8 random things about myself. Haddoooiiiiii!!!

As I clearly have no idea who to tag, oh wait! I do! Okay the next 8 person would be; Yani, Redzuan, Irwan, Anna, Kazar...and err, ok that's all. I couldn't think of anyone else who writes blog right now.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

By The River Piedra....


When I saw you around, I just gave a weak wave. But truth be told, I was so delighted that I couldn't see anyone else around me.

When you talked to me, I just gave my usual nod as if I's listening to just another story. But truth be told, I gave my all to just listening to you that I couldn't hear anything else around me.

When I saw you in my house, I just gave a casual welcoming gesture. But truth be told, I wanna see you around me everyday and I wouldn't want you to leave.

When you smile at me, I just gave you a mild smile back. But truth be told, I capture that smile in my head, as that made me feel as if I'm on top of the world.

When you touch me, I didn't touch you back. But truth be told, your touch shook my senses and I can still feel it even days after that.

When you hug me, I act as if I didn't care and still look around at others, laughing. But truth be told, I didn't wanna let you go.

When you share my food, I pretended to not notice and just sip the water. But truth be told, I wanna share with you everything, more than just my meal.

When you told me you were down and sad, I acted as just another listener. But truth be told, I wanna convince you how strong you are, and how special you are.

When you asked me what makes me happy, I told you I wasn't sure. But truth be told, you are the reason of why I'm smiling to myself.

When you asked me who has captured my heart, I pretended not to hear you. But truth be told, I am so deeply in love with you that sometimes I hate you for making me love you.

They say if you care deeply for someone, seeing them happy makes you happy. And for that, I am willing to let you go. I see you in my head all the time that sometimes I couldn't see anything else.

They also say that sometimes, the best thing to do is to do nothing. I guess they're right. Afterall, time heals all pain.


(I suck in writing this kind of things. But you'll get the idea.)
Thank you...


Saturday, August 04, 2007

GwenStefani In Sydney!!









30th July 2007

I shall repeat again, Gwen Stefani came to Sydney! Finally i get to see Gwen live, although I was quite annoyed when she repeatedly mentioned that she was pregnant before (nak subconsciously berlagak body dah mantap balik ke?). Ok, maybe not annoyed, cuma rasa tak perlu je hahahaha!!

Anyway, among the songs she sang was: Sweet Escape, Wind It Up, Luxurious, Cool (Sheera's fav), 4am In The Morning, What You're Waiting For and a few other songs that I couldn't recall, or worse, never heard of! (Kire tak la femes sgt Gwen ni kan?)

Crowd of the day: Matt, Yani, Yamud, Alan, Sheera, May, Anwar, Hawa, Fini, Ivy, Mimi and Rina. Excellent....oh, hampir excellent!

Thank youss!