Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Hanging Rock

You once told me that you have fallen into the deepest pit of hole, where you were drowned by the pitch of total darkness. But you survived. You rised from the ashes, how can I not adore you?

Have you ever fret or worry over something over and over again, that up to a point, you just turn dry and have no slightest energy to even dwell with it? When you just give up of trying to be positive, not that you do not want to. When you finally just thought that you are much better off not thinking about it?

As hard as this may seem, that is actually a form of weapon. A way of life that can serve as weapons, when you thought being left alone feeling helpless is the worst thing that could have happened to you. It's called time. It's our weapon.

Time heals what reasons can't. Just thought of giving you readers a gentle reminder.

But then again, don't fret over the small things in life. I don't exactly know why, but it obviously doesn't turn you into someone better. Oh, it's also annoying.

Take care!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Show Me What It's All About

I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it.

Have you ever known someone long enough, that both of you were pretty much 'there' during each other's growth, personal developments and achievements and also, each other's ups and downs that pendek kata, semua bende pasal orang tu la kite pernah nampak dan kita tahu perkembangan hidup dia, who they are close with, they preferences, their 'style' and all, just because you spent the past 17 years or so of your life around that particular friend?

It amazes me on how some people have known my paranoia of adult angst, and still put up with me, after so many years. To them, I say thank you.

Anyway, back to the point, it just worries me a lot that just because I happen to always be around in someone's life, because our paths of life happen to take the same crossroads, and just because we happen to see each other every weekend with other 'new' friends and so on, (notice how many 'just happen' I used?) that the developments of our lives has turned into a silent and unspoken rivalry that only us, and us knew of? What I meant was, it scares me to see that just because two people has had a loooong way together, that in the end it is only natural for them to analyse and scan both selves to know which one of them turned out better, given the fact that we had an almost 100% similar external affecting factors and surroundings?

Maybe you understand what I meant, and maybe you don't. It doesn't matter. The point is, why bother knowing another person for so long, when in the end you can't even be yourself in front of them, and you can't even share with them the joy of your life, afraid that it might be mistaken as a form of brag?

Oh well, what am I saying...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Some people obviously lie and create stories through their journeys of what I called 'life'. They scandalized themselves, they put up false impressions, they hid behind masked chronicles and they simply sent out the fake vibe whenever they could. Yes, I've met people like this before, but the more they lie, the more carried away they get by it. What, you think people won't be around you without those self-portrayed impersonation of God-knows-who, and do you seriously need to feel above average just to get attention? Or perhaps your life is just too boring for the naked truth?

Selalunya, orang fake dan suka menipu itu selalu terbukti bodoh di kemudian hari. Well done.

Look up over the internet about the universe, or just read about the nebulae. This universe is just too huge, and I mean, they're astronomically huge, that sometimes immortalizing sadness is just not the way to go. Think of the vastness of the universe, on how there are as many planets in this whole universe as the strands of sands in this entire planet earth, and planet earth itself is only a representation of one sand. Take the higher road, think of the hugeness of the universe, and how annoyingly insignificant your daily problems are (water bills, mounting assignments, girls, nagging parents and some bastards urinating by the roadside). You only have one life, but if you lived it happily, one lifetime is enough.

I am grateful that we have plenty of second chances to make up for the lousy first. True, first impression counts, but most of the times, what you see is not necessarily what you get.

I am happy living in my new studio, and I enjoy the company of my neighbours. My own private place, and in this room, every corner represents a part of me. My old Dunblane House will always be something of great importance, but I think it's time for me to move on and embrace this new place. Memori hanyalah untuk dikenang, bukan untuk diingat-ingat.

I hope my resolutions are realized this year. Good luck for yours too, and I hope we all can help each other out!