Thursday, June 05, 2008

Al - Fatihah

Rule: Don't call others in the middle of the night, unless to convey bad news.

What do you do when some one old and close to you greets the call of death? When you know that they are no where to be seen and no where to be heard of, right from the moment death meets them, and what's left of them are just pictures, memories and leftovers of their stuff that they hold on to while living?

You started imagining what life would be without them from now on. You started to wonder, how does it feel to go to their house and not see them again, instead you only see other people that used to build their lives around the dead. You started remembering your last meal together with the person, trying to recall really hard how does his/her cooking taste, and what sort of thing you talked about with them. You started to remember your last conversation with them, and secretly hoping it was a conversation that pleases their ears. You wondered whether have you taken a photo of them, wanting to know that you have captured their look during their last few days in this world. You tried hard to recall the last time you shook his/her hand, and you lower your forehead, and kissed them on the hand. You began recalling the way they used to talk, and how seldom or often they laugh at your young jokes. You started to remember too, all their advices, and as other people of the Baby Boomers Generation, their advices were always short and transparent, but worth listening to. And of course, you just hope that they die in peace and with a light heart, knowing that they have lived their life they way they were supposed to, and more than anything else, you just want them to be mercifully blessed by Allah.

Losing someone you love is bad enough, but missing the small details and resemblance of their everyday lives makes you wonder whether have you been appreciative enough. I hope I had.

Al - Fatihah to my grandmother, Hajjah Liah Binti Yusof.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

The Bond

I'm in a state of utmost crap now, don't ask me why.

But I just need to think of the fact that my best friend is having the semester of his life with his girl friend that he loves, and that is why I still manage to smile now.

I have never felt genuinely happy for someone else, and I can actually be happy just by thinking of how happy they are.

I hope Allah will give them the best, as I don't know anyone else that deserves it more than them.

Angels, by Robbie Williams (for the 8th time)