Thursday, February 05, 2009

Goodbye Sydney

Today is February 5th 2009. I have been thinking about this day for a very very very long time. And now, it is finally here, into the 6th hour of the day. I will officially bid my final farewell to Sydney, a city like no other, as my flight back to KL is less than 9 hours away. It feels scary, to tell you the truth.

Well, I wouldn't say that I am prepared to leave this country, Australia. There are still so many things I want to do, and so many sights I wish I could get the chance to lay my eyes on. But I know, no matter how hard I fought for this day not to arrive, although virtually impossible it may seem, I know it draws closer to me by every ticking second, and I just have to face it.

It is not easy for me. More than anything else, I have fallen in love with Sydney. I have cultivated an undivided acceptance of her perfection and imperfection. I know no other city could rival her stunning harbour, and I realized that Sydney is actually kicking goals against the bigger boys, like London and NYC. There are always things to do around, and the sun has been very kind to Sydney for 9 months out of the whole year. Yes, I am aware that the price tags of every-god-damned-thing here has put on a death grip on my wallet, and how horrid the public transportations are when the rush hour gridlock kicks in, but still, I found it very...contented by just being here. Why? I don't know. Suffice to say, I am indeed in love with Sydney.

But I am aware that the time God lended me is up. It is now my turn to leave Sydney, making rooms for new people to get in and experience the kind of thrills Sydney can bestow them with. It's not a tragic, it's just that my number is up. Sometimes, I feel bad and guilty to KL, my birthplace, for the lack of awe I have towards her compared to Sydney. Probably because I had my first total freedom here in Sydney. Or probably because I discovered a bigger portion of myself here too.

Nevertheless, alhamdulillah. I am grateful for the degree I have obtained, the wonderful people I have met and fostered friendships with, the travelling I have done, the soul-searching and self-discovery I have made, and most importantly, the gratifying series of events that I have encountered which has successfully turned me into what I am today. Everything seemed to be so majestic, and essential. And they all took place in Sydney. I probably didn't make the most of the time I had here, but I would like to believe that I have reached a certain standard of excellence and confidence. Come to think back, Sydney has contributed this massive block of structure throughout the construction of my well-being.

Now is the time for me to give KL the long awaited chance that she so well deserves all these while, and who knows, I might fell in love with KL soon? God knows I need that to happen. But for now, Goodbye Sydney, thanks and sorry for everything and I WILL miss you. You truly, are special.