Monday, March 30, 2009

Forever 23

I seem to can't get enough of Akon. It's either I have just discovered my ability to tune in with his negrito groove, or I have dangerously slipped down the musical totem pole for finally resorting to enjoying Akon's music or I am just plain sick with the rest.

I was warded on the day I turned 23. I had been looking forward to this year's March 26th, as I could finally be with my family after years (since KYS years starting in 1999) of being away from home. But I fell ridiculously sick and was lying on the bed with my elder brother being the only one in the room wishing me all that everyone would.

The doctor somehow found it to be utterly ironic that I was turning a year older on the very day that I found it hard to even breathe, due to my swollen liver and infectious intestines. But he bent over and said that it has been a very long time since he was 23. I had no idea why he suddenly said that. He told me to stay 23 forever. He would.

I guess for me, being 23 is exceptional. It was Michael Jordan's favourite number, and Beckham wore his jersey that bore this number, though it may seem for just a flick of an era (I don't know why I wrote this, Jordan and Beckham don't amaze me, I'm hardly a fan).

At the age of 23, I finally finished university, and for an instant I thought I knew a lot of things due to the completed four-years syllabus and I was really 'head to toe' on the world being my oyster. At 23 too I feel very unequipped and uninformed for not having yet to enter the career world. At this age, I feel that I should travel more and I am beyond convinced of the fact that I could survive anywhere in the world wherever fate lands me at. I am ambitious to acquire more new skills and yet I am stupified by the fact that the more I learn, the less I know. At this age, I am very optimistic of people and I have willingly decided to give everyone the second chance that they so well deserved, but I am also mortified with certain people's unacceptable behaviours and how I swore that I would never be like one.

I know that a lot of things happen and countless thoughts occur to people at all ages. But for me personally, with the what little milestone that I have endeavoured and the 'new stage' of life I am now embracing (post-uni years, adulthood maybe?), it seems that being 23 alone makes me want to improve in a lot of sense. It's not just 23, it's a new era for me altogether.

I don't feel like this before, but for once, I want to be at this age forever, being 23 feels good. Unless of course, I later discovered a nicer number to hook onto. Oh well, with all this mess on age...they're just numbers, afterall.

I'm sorry if you don't make enough sense from this particular post. You know you don't have to.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The March Rush!

It has been almost a solid month since I last wrote something in this page. I have been half-hearted about this blog; it appears to be very old and unmodified and given that this blog so resembles me during my Sydney life is enough of an indicator that I probably need some alterations within it, to say the least. Or maybe a new blog, altogether? But browsing through the old posts has truly made me realise that I do grow and in ways more than one, I have truly changed a lot from what I was a couple of years ago. Probably that's the wondrous power of a blog; the old posts are meant only and only for you, just so you are able to recall on what consumes your mind and what tires your body in the yesteryears. And the funnier thing is, some of those matters appeared to be of utmost importance in those days, and yet they successfully appear to be petty and insignificant today. Am I just not stating the obvious?

Eversince I left Australia, I have lost a lot of self-touch within myself, and that includes translating perspectives and views I have throughout any given weeks into words. Would you believe me if I say that I couldn't stop thinking about Sydney even until today? Probably I did had the time of my life there, or probably my life did started there or maybe I was just a katak bawah tempurung, so amazed by the wonders of the outside world that whatever comes first in line (in this case, Sydney) strucked me speechless and emotional?

The 17 days I was in Malaysia was more like a series of event that I endured aimlessly to make the days pass quicker while waiting for my next flight to Qatar to meet my family. I managed to catch up with a few friends and settled a few important errands, but they all have now been diluted into unrecallable events as my mind was always occupied by Sydney all the time.

Now that I am in Doha for almost 2 weeks already, I have started to feel and see the hint of what I will be doing in the future and I am pretty much excited about it. I am more calm and stable and I have embraced the fact that once the time is up, there's nothing you can do about it. I have been here hanging out with my parents, taking things slower and furnishing myself with more elements that I believed would enrich me with more ingredients of life. In short, things are okay. And to those of you who lended your ears throughout me rambling about my ending Sydney escapade, I thank you and...thank you again.

So next would be massive job hunting days and Perhimpunan Agung UMNO (PAU), something I hope would be able to occupy me and give me some ideas and inspirations. Perhaps PAU would be the platform of when I would be able to get back in gear again, and no, this time not to prove myself (as I mindlessly did all these while, thinking that this is life is all about), but to just keep going forward and making the best of what I have of each days ahead.

And yes, to those Sydneysiders who contributed to me having a memorable summer, here's my thank you note again. And to the many friends I made along the trip, all of you truly were my saviour. All of you and the month-long trip that I took all by myself was something that I will cherish, hopefully, for the rest of my life.