Monday, March 21, 2011

i just came to say hello

Guess what, another weekend flew by. Just like that, and much to my dislike, tomorrow will be Monday again, the beginning of a new week. Which means the universe will again see me struggle to set myself free from the lazy lament and aftermath of the weekends, only to reach my fullest productivity at work by Wednesday noon, only then to be greeted again by another Friday in less than 48 hours (which means I will be back to my lazy mode and start dreaming again on how life will soon be better and happier). Sigh.

To think that I will be living like that for another 30 years or so, coupled with the fact that EVERYONE in this world does live like that for 30 years of their life, demotivates me... to say the least. And yes, I can feel that shiver being shot rundown my spine. My healthy spine.

(BTW some would argue that the beginning of the week is actually Sunday, but let's not get into that and complicate this post).

On an unrelated note, one of my best friend, Ashraf (Joe, Joegi, Joey, JOEi) is now a father! Congratulations Joe! Joe and I went way back. We were friends since college, and became really close friends after flying together to Sydney in the name of Education. He was always calm, always put people first (especially his housemates) never failed to look at the bright side of life (I am serious and I literally meant it), always make me feel as if my jokes were the funniest, embraced the fact that his set of teeth was less than perfect and of course, smart. So Alhamdulillah, Joe deserves this kind of happiness more than anyone I know.

Things has been okay I suppose for me in Miri. Yes, I still wish that I am living in KL now, but as one of my newly-met friend (Boh) mentioned, sometimes in life you just have to wing it (he said something like that lah).

So in the name of winging it; I am now adapting well to my new superior's (he is strict, btw) commands and requirements, I have been loitering (ermmm... yeap, that's right; loitering) around in gym more often lately and I will start my Squash Regime real soon, and this time I am not kidding. And plus, I will be joining Ariff and Nasyita on a road trip from Miri to Kudat, Sabah on my birthday!

I can never stress this enough, but there is something about road trips that makes me feel as if I am at my best. The scenary, the thought of you in a car flashing by other people's places and stopping there for only 2-3 minutes just to rush off for a poo or grab a Coke or to replenish your junk food stock. There's always something so real about roadtrips, something so adventurous... as if the whole experiences sort of jumped out of an old thick-bound classic literature book. And of course, good company and many photographs are two default requirements :)

I am scared. More and more people whom I was close with during my late teens and early 20s are now called husbands, wives, daddies and mommies. And look where I am, not even in a relationship. I kept telling myself that it's okay, I'm still young and there's more time for all these commitment-based ideology when you're done with enjoying your bachelorhood (super subjective, that statement).

But truthfully, what really scares me the most is the fact I am too comfortable being single, that at times (or maybe, most of the times) I don't even look forward to having a relationship. I am always thinking of doing many things in my life, and lately, the mind image of me doing all these fun and exciting stuff are no longer a picture of me with my future gf/wife. It has now turned into a mental film on me doing all these things alone (or with my few selected bestfriends). Maybe I indulge too much in the never-ending world of narcissism. Or maybe I just still don't get it that the best things in life are shared.

But all in all, I am not ready yet for a relationship. I have not met anyone yet that swept me off my feet, or anyone that makes me feel like sweeping them off their feet (for that matter). I have my reason (a concrete and strong one) but we'll keep that for another post.

Goodnight, thanks for reading!


Zahirah Z. said...

u'll know when u're ready once again... when it's time! in the mean time lepak je lah enjoy being single.... :D

ur 'cinta monyet' stories are one of the stories i've never erased from my memory since 2004. they're just too.... comel to be forgotten. hehehe

and i just came to say hello too!

muhammad ibnu hamid said...

Zah! I miss you, really! I hope we stay friends for a long time! :)