Tuesday, May 10, 2011

your courier item is with us...

i found solace and contentment by running in the evening, when i'm done with work and stuff. i've had friends and i've known quite a number of people who has shrinks or therapists in search of serenity and longevity in inner peace. it works by the patient opening up their hearts and souls and pouring everything out like water gushing out of a hole in a damn. at the price of 100 dollars an hour.

maybe i haven't reached that stage where i need to pay someone to listen to me, or pay them to tell me things that i have already known about but not too firm to believe in it until another soul tells me to. but whatever the case, i still prefer running when i feel like my innards are about to implode due to stress or overbearing burden from just being human. and it's cheaper. all you need is good running shoes (you don't even need a shirt to run, to be brutally honest) and amidst all the salty sweat and panting breaths, you suddenly feel like you are at your best again.

one of my good friend emailed me and wrote on how she misses me and how she feels as if things doesn't turn out the way she has planned them on. of course, i miss her too. the truth is, i've had SO much fun and happy (and adventurous) times in uni years, that i often compared how things were back then and how everything is at the present. and all these comparisons will usually end in me being slightly sad (or maybe angry) that things are not the same anymore and how it seems so impossible to relive your past good memories or build your life exactly in the same way it was back then. reliving my old times mean finding the same kind of friends and living in a place that somehow resembles where we were. and both were impossible... with me being in Miri.

good things are not so commonly found sometimes, and when you've had the kind of blast in life that you are never too tired to replay them over and over again in your mind, you are somehow smacked flat to the ground, knowing that it will never repeat itself. maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to have your youth years filled with average and mediocre memories or point-of-actions. then you won't miss them so much, at least.

this is a bit unfair, but i am only looking at my life in Miri as a learning ground for work and other goals in life, solely. once i feel comfortable with all these goals already, i'm outta here insya Allah. i'm serious.

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